Every day at the Governor’s Academy, students are greeted by their teachers’ devilish loving smiles and impressed by their expansive knowledge of their respective subjects. But unbeknownst to most, many of these faculty members secretly conduct a completely different life in their spare time, mastering skills that are generally deemed impossible by society. 

Limited by the capabilities of the author, this is by no means an all-inclusive list, and the author apologizes to those faculty members who shall remain hidden gems.

Take a look at these familiar names that you have taken for granted.

Then take a look at their spectacular feats.

Ms. Kass is the fixer of staplers. Give her any dysfunctional stapler, however jammed, damaged, or broken they may be, and she will rejuvenate them with her deft hands and keen mind. She discovered this talent from her time working at Brooks – no doubt gaining a lot of practice due to the chaotic and destructive nature of that institution.

Dr. Alex is a PRO at Settlers of Catan. She is currently ranked 9th on the list of “Catan Masters,” according to the publisher of the game, and tied for the top female. She did terribly in her very first game played in graduate school, but the board game called to her. She studied the social manipulation strategy from the game, attended gaming conventions, and played in regional qualifiers every other year. She stayed competitive after coming to Govs, winning a qualifier in February 2020, and was one win away from representing the US at Worlds at Malta. Currently, she has her eyes set on being the first female US champion, and preaches Catan to many faculty members and students at Govs.

Mr. Hunt was a celebrity on The Weakest Link, a quiz show featuring eight contestants and an intentionally malicious host. His episode was filmed in Burbank, California on February 2, 2002, and aired in May of the same year. Unfortunately, he was deemed as the weakest link in the second round. He has a theory that the champion, a young woman who won around $ 42,000, benefited from her role as a “flyer” on her cheerleading squad which had conditioned her brain to remain calm during stressful situations. There is a youtube video of his invaluable appearance.

Ms. McConnell plays polo! She started 15 years ago due to her equestrian background. Although she finds dressage incredibly boring, she really enjoys the combination of horseback riding and competitive ball games, participating in local polo leagues for many years. In the end, what stopped her was the expense – to buy and keep a horse is extremely costly. Polo is quite accurately a sport for kings.

Dr. Quimby is a true Renaissance man with many many surprises. He speaks Russian because that was his major in college; he is very good with the chainsaw, as testified by the vast open fields in the Maine woods; he is a scuba diver; he used to brew beer in his house, and made sure to clarify that it is NOT moonshine; his first job was at a daycare center taking care of 3-year-olds.

Mr. Suomi sacrifices students to the English god. Every other night, he captures the last student to leave the student center, locks them on the patio, chants an ancient Victorian English incantation, and spills their blood to quench the thirst of the insatiable English god, who descends upon the patio to feast on the gushing blood of the student. This is all fact checked and 100% true.

Mr. Quigley has been a talented gardener since 1985! That year, after absorbing nutrients from numerous books on gardening, he magically turned his newly purchased house in Maine, which was thriving with weeds, into a little piece of botanic paradise. Currently, his garden is elegantly decorated with yellow and purple perennials, grandiosely blossoming flowers, and varieties of vegetables, which funnel into the Quigleys’ kitchen.

Mr. Brandt can hang multiple spoons from his ears, nose, chin, cheek, or forehead. His record is holding five spoons on his face at once! The prerequisite, he claims, is that he needs to shave beforehand. Also, don’t bother him in the dining hall – apparently the school’s spoons are not suited for this particular theatric. 

Dr. Brayshaw is an iron man on his run – and a flash on the water! In a conversation with Kevin Xia ‘23, Dr. Brayshaw revealed that he is a fantastic windsurfer, having spent years and years mastering the way to ride the wind and waves. 

Mr. Robertson sings. Ugh, but we all know that. Everyone knows Robbie sings and plays the trombone and the guitar and the ukulele. But did you know that he is a disc golf player of great renown? According to his wife, Ms. Slater, his name and reputation precede him in multiple disc golf fields across Massachusetts.