One day, while I was online shopping from Bobbi Brown Cosmetics during Linear Algebra class with Dr. Brayshaw, Christine approached me. Can I get interviewed for The Governor, she asked. Of course, I said. Although I said it quite elegantly, in really, I was tearing up in joy for having an article material approach me on its own. The rest of The Governor staff for this year’s winter season (that is, me, myself, and I) approved of this proposal. So here it is, snippets from the dialogues with our heroine, Christine Qian.

Jess: First question, as I like to begin my chill’interviews, how was your day?

Christine: My day was terrible.

J: Why?

C: Because we were doing read-throughs in the musical and I fell asleep like three times. 

J: Are you going to semi? Or should I ask, have you ever been to semi?

C: No. 

J: You reached out to me first to be chill’interviewed. Why?

C: I want to be famous.

J: You want to be famous?

C: Yeah. 

J: Hopefully, your dream will come true except no one reads the Newspaper. Was there anything you wanted to talk about?

C: No. I thought you were going to talk about something. 

J: Weird study habits?

C: I like studying at midnight. 

J: Why midnight? What do you do until midnight? You don’t do anything? 

C: I do stuff. But the best work is done at midnight.

J: So you sleep till midnight and wake up then to study?

C: Sure.

J: I know you like to play mobile games. Tell me more about that.

C: I stopped playing because Wi-Fi here is so bad. It lags so much. But last year during COVID, Jerry and I were playing mobile League of Legends during AP Stats, while we were in class.

J: Oh, is this the one with girls coming out with pink hair? I saw Jerry playing it. 

C: Yeah, you’re right! So then I look up and I saw this breakout room and then we had to do a problem and Mr. Karin was going to check on us but I was in the middle of this mobile game. No one was listening. Sorry, Mr. Karin.

J: I know that your camera roll is full of screenshots of your mobile game, and you don’t even have a picture of your bichon? 

C: I don’t have it. Sad.

J: You don’t have a picture of your pet? What’s her name, or his, the bichon?

C: Candy.

J: At least she has a name. 

C: He. My mom named him, not me.

J: Oh. How old is he?

C: …I don’t know. 

J: You don’t know your pet’s age? 

C: I don’t know!

J: When did you get him?

C: I don’t remember. Pauses. Like seven years ago?

J: He’s so old! And you don’t even have a single picture of him?

C: No.

J: Do you even have him? Are you sure this is not just your imaginary pet? 

C: Imaginary? Laughs.

J: Are there any secrets about your interviewer (aka Jess Choe) that you’d like to share with the public? 

C: I don’t think you have any secrets appropriate for school. I know secrets way past the borderline of being appropriate. 

J: Are there any secrets about you you’d like to share?

C: 아이고 (ah-i-go, Oh my in Korean). No. 

J: You said you wanted to be famous. Tell me something that will make you famous. 

C: Anything that’s not going my way makes me mad. I get mad everyday. I got mad once because Tina didn’t want anyone to sit on their own in math class.

J: Oh, was that time when you got mad because Tina felt bad for me sitting alone when you ditched me for her? You are a very supportive friend. Most embarrassing moment of your life?

C: I have poor memory. Wait. Let me think about it. Thinks for a minute and says, I have no memory.

J: Why do you do tech?

C: Because I like the cast.

J: You like the cast so you do tech? That doesn’t make sense. If you like the cast, you should be in drama, not tech.

C: Yeah, I want to help out the cast people’s shows. The thing is, I don’t have talent. I can’t act. If you have a psycho that gets mad easily in a play, I can play that role. 

J: Favorite class you took? And why?

C: Bio with McLain. We got to draw on the tables. You know, with those markers. And Mrs. McLain was funny in the sarcastic way that I liked.

J: Yeah, the couple is funny. McLains. What is your favorite book?

C: Can I say I have no favorite book?

J: Then what do you do in your free time? 

C: I don’t read! Do you not know? I sleep. And play mobile games.

J: And then you wake up at 12am to do work?

C: Yeah. And I do it till 5am and go back to sleep.

J: Then what’s your favorite book you read in school?

C: Silence. Can we do favorite movie?

J: Sure.

C: GATTACA. It’s a movie about eugenics. Note the title of the movie. It’s only made up of A, T, C, G. 

J: What do you wanna study in college?

C: Bio.

J: Wanna go pre-med?

C: Sure. 

J: What kind of doctor? Plastic surgeon?

C: So that you can get one for free? You don’t need one, Jess.

J: If there’s anyone whom you forgot to or ran out of space for shout outs, now is your chance. 

C: Yes, yes, yes, yes, please. Silence. I don’t remember though. Silence. One sec. 

Ericson. I had to cut him out because I ran out of space. To the cool one whose name can be spelled by the periodic table. Erbium, Iodine, Carbon, Sulfur, Oxygen, Nitrogen. Ericson.

Tyler Garvey. Stay virtuoso.

Albert Niu. Why is your test grade higher than Ed-puzzle grade?

Saketh. I miss doing labs with you. 

Chris. From sound Chris to light Chris: good luck taking over every tech job next year. 

J: Any last words? 

C: Am I famous now? 

J: Thank you.